Never Sit at the Adult Table

For as long as I can remember, I never aspired to sit at the adult table. From the kids’ table during holiday dinners, I observed a bunch of grown ups laughing at silly jokes, and drinking red stuff in a glass that made them laugh some more.

I wondered why they seemed not to like playing. So stiff they sat at their adult table. “Children, you must keep it down.” Oh, so sorry we acted like kids — because at eight years old we should be discussing our investment portfolios, or why we have a hard time going to the bathroom. As Steve Martin said, “Excuuuuuse ME!”

Now approaching sixty-two, I am more certain that I never want to sit at the adult table. There is far too little joy and happiness. We’re so serious as adults. The idea of silly fun goes out the door. “Sid, will you act your age?” My answer is no, I will not! Why should I be forced to wear an adult mask if I choose not to?

I have a great suggestion for adults who are stressed, overweight, sleep deprived, depressed, angry and just plain fed up: stop being an adult and play. Play with silly putty, go fly a kite, or pull a girl’s hair and run away. Make belching sounds, play tag or watch cartoons and call me in the morning. I predict you just might decide to no longer eat at the adult table.